Back Doubt

I've been struggling with doubt recently.  Doubt as to whether I deserve or require the upcoming shot in my back.  Over time the pain has gotten better since the last shot, and my pain varies throughout the day and depending on my activities.  One morning I can be hoping the date comes quickly, and that evening I can be filled with self doubt about even needing a shot.  This is different than in the past.  This is the least pain I've had before a shot, compared to the several other shots I've had, which has been different for me, and sometimes troubling in this way.  But I've also had the good pain pills all this time, as I have in the past, as well.

This weekend I've been doing a little experiment, I've done everything as I would have normally but without the pain medication.  Now, I've tried to not take them much anyway, but usually end up taking at least one and, more often than not, two a day.  An opioid called Percocet, Vicodin, or just Oxycodone.  It's been super hot lately, yesterday was over 90ºF but feeling like 100ºF with high humidity, but slightly better today so I was determined to walk to go out for lunch.  It's a little less than a mile to the Harmony Bar and Grill, one way.  A good walk, almost all bike path, and only takes about 15-18 minutes, depending, but the walk back was quite a bit more painful and slow than the walk there.

I mentioned in the comments for the last post how if you view it as 3 levels - surgery, shot, and live with it - that I would be toward the bottom of the shot level, and I still think that's true.  But my little experiment this weekend has given me the confidence that I am not doing this frivolously, it just happens to be the lowest level I've been at before undergoing this procedure.  For some reason I just feel a little guilty that I'm not in more pain, or as much as I have been in before.

This is good for me to realize and I'm glad I did this.  Now I'm going to take that damn pill.

Back Update, Second Shot Coming

 

I saw the neurosurgeon on Tuesday, and it was a rather short visit.  I told him my symptoms and we looked at the MRI.  The notes say it was slightly worse than my last MRI in 2018, but he said it looked much the same to him.  It clearly shows how the nerve is impeded when compared to the right side.  This is the area that I had surgery on in 2000, and most recently the shots in 2018.  We both agreed that a second shot was the way to go.  I won't have to undergo surgery and I won't have to live with it, now let's just hope the second shot works out well.

This time I received notification that my second shot had been preauthorized by the insurance the very next day.  I took today off so called this morning and have an appointment scheduled for about 3 weeks from now.  This has been a long process so far and I'm hoping this will be the end of it, for now at least.

Latest Listening Pleasure 38 - Wargasm UK

Shortly after finding and really liking their music I wrote an LLP Bonus post about them.  At the time, they only had 7 songs out and I felt they needed to do more to merit a full LLP post.  That was in February, and now, after several months of their music being at the top of my mental playlist, I just can't deny how much I've been enjoying their music ever since - and they have two new songs out since then, so they have been active.  Ladies and gentlemen, number 38, Wargasm UK!

Wargasm UK - Pyro Pyro

There's not a whole lot more I can say about them than what I did before.  But live shows have started up again, so they're getting their chops by playing out more, at least one festival from what I've seen with more dates scheduled soon.  And this make me happy because more live shows means more live concert videos to watch.  Always my preference.

Wargasm UK, Live at Download Festival Pilot 2021 - Backyard Bastards

Watching this live video reminds me how content I am these days to watch from afar, but they sure bring the energy and the crowd gives it right back.  I may be too old to be right down front anymore, but I still enjoy it lots.  Keep it coming, Sam and Milkie!

Previous LLP Posts:

LLP 1 - Pain
LLP 2 - Nightwish
LLP 3 - Die Antwoord
LLP 4 - Pain part 2
LLP 5 - Andrew Bird LIVE
LLP 6 - Nightwish part 2
LLP 7 - Paramore
LLP 8 - Newsted
LLP 9 - U.D.O. LIVE
LLP 10 - Nightwish Imaginaerum Movie
LLP 11 - Kiss
LLP 12 - Rick Springfield
LLP 13 - Hyrax
LLP 14 - In This Moment
LLP 15 - Faster Pussycat LIVE
LLP 16 - Sebastian Bach
LLP 17 - Cradle Of Thorns
LLP 18 - Amaranthe
LLP 19 - Lindemann
LLP 20 - Halestorm
LLP 21 - Garbage LIVE
LLP 22 - Arcade
LLP 23 - Nightwish LIVE
LLP 24 - Ace Frehley
LLP 25 - Darkc3ll
LLP 26 - Dementia
LLP 27 - Rammstein
LLP 28 - Marilyn Manson LIVE
LLP 29 - The Harp Twins LIVE
LLP 30 - Diamante
LLP 31 - Steel Panther LIVE
LLP 32 - Scum Of The Earth

LLP 33 - Marty Friedman LIVE
LLP 34 - Buckethead LIVE
LLP 35 - Alice Cooper LIVE
LLP 36 - Poppy

LLP 37 - Code Orange

LLP 38 - Wargasm UK

Updates For Dog Days

We seem to be entering the dog days of summer now, and if I'm not mistaken the constellations agree.  When I posted recently and said it seemed like peak summer perfection at that time, I was correct.  The signs of a waning summer are visible now, but it's way too early to dwell on them.  Lots of good outdoor time yet to be had, thankfully.

The last several weeks have been pretty mundane around here.  We had quite the hot spell so spent most of our time indoors for a while, but have had lots of open window time, too.  Otherwise, it's been pretty routine; work all day and house chores and relaxing at night, not much socializing at all.  Where we live in Dane County we're sitting pretty good compared to other places.  We have a very high vaccination rate and things have been pretty relaxed for awhile here, but with the new variant we've started wearing our masks everywhere again and purposely not going out when we don't need, just to be safe.  We'll get there eventually, it'll just take more time - and vaccinations.

I know I've not written a whole lot the last several weeks, and my last couple posts have been mostly pictures, which actually prompted me to write more about them.  This may be like that, too, so sorry if you weren't a fan!  I just thought maybe I'd do a few updates on some varied things.

To start off, back in January I was considering whether getting the local newspaper delivered was still worth it to me.  Well, I kept getting the paper for a few months after, but canceled it at the beginning of May and I haven't looked back since.  I still get most of my news online, as well as sports updates.  The biggest change, really, is I saved one more daily cartoon to read online.  Money well saved, I think.

Update number two: Squirrels are still bastards.  This little bastard was just so picturesque this morning as he worked his way into a black walnut on our back railing.  I ran him off right after as I don't want any of that black walnut litter staining the wood, if I can help it.

All these pictures are from today, but most have a connection to past happenings.  See the rest after the break!

Wildflowers

Attention Email Readers!  The blog emails when I post are still going out, at least as of the last post, but the end of July is nigh and the emails will no longer be sent.  Go to the link at the bottom of your email and save as a favorite or shortcut on your phone now!  Thank you.

*Edit: Now Feedburner says the emails will be discontinued in August.

Inspired by the comments in the last post, I took my camera phone with me on a couple walks today along our section of Starkweather Creek and the bike path.  It can be hard to see even in real life, but there is a creek in there!  I'm tall, and many of the flowers are waist high to me but some get much taller than me.  I don't know all the names of them, I've just been admiring the view whenever I can.  Yes, I'm sure seeds were spread by people at times, but I still call them wildflowers.

More flowers plus other sights after the break!

This Week, In Pictures (Mostly)

I don't think I have many words to say, but I'm sure I'll think of something.  I do have several pictures of our area from this past week that I'd like to share.

This is what's left of the potted plants on the stump, and it doesn't look too bad.  The rest had been ravaged by the rabbits.  Not pictured here are the flower pot out front and petunias on the back steps.  The only thing left out front was a green stalk of a yellow marigold that was still trying to live, everything else was devoured.  I moved a couple petunias out front and surrounded the pot with chicken wire and they seem to be doing well.

For the sake of keeping the home page tidy, see the rest after the break!

No Cukes This Year

We've given the vines enough time to show their flowers if they were going to, and they didn't.  So yesterday we pulled them all out.  They had just gotten so big and were reaching everywhere no matter how many times I guided them back into their own space.  The back left garden was so completely overrun we just pulled the fence up and brought the vines out almost in one big, tangled piece.  Pretty much filled up this year's side of the compost bin, but they will break down easily now that they're pulled.

It was a nice thought, getting some bonus cucumbers out of the garden this year, but it just wasn't meant to be.  And that's okay, it was still a fun thought and no harm was done.

I'm very pleased with the new gardens.  Even if putting them in was the start of my recent back trouble, it had to be done.  And I'm doubly glad they're metal because more than ever I don't want to do it again!

Literally Back. And Back.

I've not posted in a few weeks as I just haven't had much good to say.  I'd written about my latest with my back, so it made no sense to keep complaining until there was something new.  Well, I guess there was something new, I was just too upset about it to write about it at the time.

I spoke to my doctors office on Tuesday, June 15, and they said they couldn't schedule the shot in my back (a CT-guided left S1 selective nerve root injection) until it was preauthorized by my insurance and they would submit it that day.  By Tuesday, June 23, I had not heard anything back so sent a message to my doctor's office to inquire.  I waited the next day, but received no response.  So early on Thursday I contacted my insurance and they said they just  received the request the day before - 8 days after my doctor's office said they would submit it.  I told the story to that insurance agent, and she seemed sympathetic.  The preauthorization was approved the very next day, so either she expedited it for me or my doctor's office got it expedited somehow.  Probably the former, not the latter, but I'm still bitter.

I'd never had a reason to not trust my doctor's office before, but I won't make that mistake in the future.  They'd been bought out several years ago now by a larger company so I'm sure expenses had to be trimmed and the quality soon follows (duh!).  But I had to spend 8 extra days in pain, 8 extra days on opioids, and 8 extra days limited for work.  Eventually I got a cursory apology from the guilty staff, and a more in-depth apology from the head of the department, but I was definitely not happy.  I considered my options; talking to a lawyer, taking them to small claims court, even calling and yelling until I was blue in the face.  But in the end, nothing would come of it and I would just be more miserable.  Best to get on with it and go through with it.  Just get it done.

Eventually I got my injection two days ago, Wednesday, July 7.  It was certainly the most painful of these injections I had, I think this is the 4th, and not the most or least effective I've had, either.  I still have pain in my butt and groin, sometimes extending down the back of my thigh or to the back of my knee, all left side, and my left heel has been tingling ever since.  I no longer get pain all the way to my foot, or the very sharp pain from internal pressure, such as a cough.  

Overall, it's just taken the edge off and I think this is something I'll just have to live with.  Until I can't anymore.  Then I get to go through this whole process yet again.  Next time maybe ending up in front of a neurosurgeon.

So, that's that, I'll try not to complain about it here anymore.  I do have some things I'd like to catch up on so I'll try to write more this weekend.  Stay healthy, everyone.

Solstice Plant Update

This has been a difficult spring, not being able to do all I want to do.  I've had to let things go for a later time, which is very much against my nature.  One of the things I've let go of is trying to keep protecting the potted plants, and the rabbits have gone to town on them.  Whether in the pots on the stump or the pot out front, they've just been eaten right up, even though other plants in the area were their favorites in years past. Only the hanging basket out front is doing well as it's out of reach.  And the petunias I moved onto the back steps about a week ago, so are making a small comeback.  We even put out a tray of water thinking they were eating them for the moisture during our mild drought.  Very discouraging, but I still will not be letting our cats out.  There are other neighborhood cats that roam free and they do come in our yard sometimes, but makes no difference.

Meanwhile, in the gardens, the strawberries and raspberries have been doing very well since being replanted.  The strawberries are winding down but the raspberries are just starting to ripen.  The (what I believe to be) cucumber vines have grown into monsters.  We've been trying to keep the vines on the fences but they are reaching in all directions and show no signs of slowing down.  If we don't start seeing some flowers soon we may start pulling them out, starting with the multiple large vines in the raspberries, but we'll give them a little more time.  The fence doesn't go all the way around the raspberries as I ran out of chicken wire, but it's working well enough as is.

Weather has been seasonable lately.  We've gone back and forth from air conditioning to windows open, and have had some rain lately with more called for here in a couple hours.  The front lawn had gone mostly brown so the rain is good, but we're still several inches below normal so far.

The view over the house is a little different now with one less tree, but it's still nice to look up and ponder life by the light of the fire.  Happy solstice, everyone.

Another Tree Gone

A couple weeks ago another large tree limb fell out front, from the maple tree on the terrace of the house directly across the street, right in their driveway apron.  When the yellow dot showed up on the trunk shortly after we suspected it might be taken down, and today it was.

But first, I had the MRI last week and the other morning found out that a shot in the spine is recommended.  Exactly what I suspected when this first started, but you have to go through the whole, lengthy process.  Probably what my doctor suspected, as well, since he never did refer me to the neurosurgeon.  A week or two ago I was getting pretty worried it would be surgery, but the pain has lessened a bit since.  Next is scheduling the shot, but first I have to wait for pre-approval from my insurance.  I've forgotten how many back shots I've had overall, but actually this may be only third or fourth, to go along with the two prior surgeries.  Anyway, more waiting.  Back to the tree!

Last year three more trees on the block were taken down.  This picture, looking down our block, is from 2019.  The second tree down on the left side was removed in 2020, as were the second tree down on the right and another on that side about 6 houses further down.  The year after removal the city will come and get the stump, and sometimes will plant a new tree the year after that.  I hate to lose old, big trees but so goes the circle of life, I guess.  And now we won't worry so much about a branch falling on our cars when parked in the street.

I worked off and on today while I keeping tabs on the activity outside.  The cats certainly did not like the constant loud noise from out front so spent much of the day in the bedroom.  On top of the bed, thankfully, and not hiding under it.  In fact, there was much activity on the street today with this tree being removed by the city, a private company removing a tree up the block in someone's yard, and on the next block were a new front walk and a new driveway being put in at separate residences.  So there were a lot of workmen, big trucks and loud noises for much of the day.

But this is the picture story of this one tree's end across the street.  Pictures were taken from the front storm door window and the (dirty) front window, and I've not even reviewed them myself just yet, so we'll see what's interesting enough to post.  After the break!