Early 'Thanksmas'*

My Dad and his wife Pat had a gathering yesterday that they were calling Thanksmas.  They will be leaving for Florida at the end of the month and wanted to share the holidays with their families.  For some reason I felt we should go, my first mistake.  I don't like the holidays.  I don't like to travel.  Hell, I don't even really like my Dad, and I'm more like him than I want to admit.  But I felt we should go because he has had heart trouble this year and he'll be the first to remind you that he's not getting any younger.  Oh, and their Thanksmas celebration was happening during a Packers game, just to add to my personal anxieties.  I call them 'anxieties,' they have also been referred to as 'selfishness.'  Either way I'm not proud of my actions sometimes.

So, fine then, a couple weeks ago I resolved to myself that we would go and agreed to be there.  My plan was to show up shortly before the game, watch the game and socialize with them, and leave immediately following the game.  Over an hour travel each way, but we should get home just before dark.  Perfect, in my mind.  Plenty of time to relax at home on a Sunday night before facing another work week.  Besides, how christmas-y can you get in the middle of November unless you are a retail store?  I was about to find out.  Oh, I stuck to my plan, but, of course, it did not turn out well.

Most of their combined kids and their families were there.  I didn't know all the names, and I didn't really care.  The 'step' siblings became such long after I was an adult out on my own and I have really only met them a handful of times.  My niece was cute, she made it more fun for me by making me play bean bag toss with her before the game then trying to figure out the password and play the games on my phone.  It was a beautiful sunny day, this Ides of November, with temperatures getting up to 60º.  And I was sitting near a christmas tree watching the Packers lose two weeks before Thanksgiving.  I was feeling out of my element, but there was the finish line - the end of the game, which was drawn-out, of course.

When the game ended I said thanks and gotta go but it was not that easy.  I had explained earlier that we had things to do and I wanted to be home by dark, back to my plan.  So after the game I got up to go.  My wife became hugely embarrassed with Pat protesting and me saying hey, that was my plan all along.  We had to stand there awkwardly in front of everyone as she fumbled looking for christmas presents to give us before we left.  At that point I don't look good leaving or agreeing to stay for their games and gift openings.  My intention was not to get gifts in the middle of November or upset my Dad's wife, just leave.  But then I just wanted to disappear myself, I can't blame my wife for being upset with me, my time here was done and I wanted to go.

See, I've always been more comfortable at home.  And similar things have happened to me before.  I explained it to my sister once as having an elastic band attaching me to home.  The farther away and longer I'm gone the more uncomfortable I am.  Especially when it is for - and it usually is - for a holiday gathering.  I stopped liking holidays after, and in some ways because of, my childhood.  We always had to travel then, too.  I guess it all eventually goes back to childhood, right?  I'm the first to admit that I still hold deep resentment from back then that I am trying to ignore now.  I think I've done well with that lately but it is still there and always will be.  Life goes on.

So, am I selfish?  Do I have OCD with anxieties?  A form of agoraphobia?  Or am I just an ass?

Don't answer, I don't want to hear it.  But it's probably some form of all of them to one degree or another.

The agoraphobia thing, suggested by my wife that night, actually hits pretty close to home.  That would also explain why I get so buggy at huge events with thousands of people, too.  I know I've talked about that here before.  Still, I do not have panic attacks, though I do have plenty of anxieties.  So maybe I'm just a nut who needs to be on medication to take the ab from my normal.  I think I should probably look into this more.  But from right here, thank you.


*Updated next day:
One thing I feel was lost in my writing - and editing - is that I do need to offer my apologies to all involved who took offense.  Reading sentences 3 to 7 of the first paragraph and looking back, I feel like I set myself up to fail.  I'm also sorry for that and I'm sorry it happened.  
Okay, enough dirty laundry!  But writing it out did help me consider things more.  Many things.

Hamish and Basil, Leaves

Our two cats enjoying their limited time on the porch before the door stays closed for winter.  Yes, their personalities are scarily reflected in their facial expressions here.  You see our trouble...














I know I have not written much lately, sorry but not a whole lot has been happening that can be written about here.  The weather has turned, leaves are almost all fallen and we have a lot less that I expected.  Last weekend I mowed, mostly to mulch all the black walnut leaves from neighbor Dave's trees.  They tend to lose their leaves earliest thankfully, so I can usually use the leaves that fall later for mulch.  There was never a shortage before but now, without our big tree in back, we have fewer than I expected from other neighboring trees.  Now I hope to get enough from the front yard for mulching our flowerbeds.  I do not want to use hay, hay does not disappear as easily the next season.

Kinda funny, actually - I'm worried about having too few leaves to rake and mulch this year.  Who'd a thunk it?  Garden post with lots of pics coming soon at the Garden Blog!

Hickory Head Horror Story*

The Hickory Head Hermit a.k.a. Mike Firesmith is a blogger that I like and follow.  A writer who blogs may be a more apt description.  This week he has been posting his annual Hickory Head Horror Story Serialization called Christa and I've been thoroughly enjoying it. I know the finale will be posted tomorrow, but if you have some time it is a fun read, it has drawn me in well!  The whole thing is at his site here, or, for convenience,  I've listed and linked them in order below!

10/24 Christa:  The Beginning
10/25 Christa:  The Trap
10/26 Christa:  To Hide A Murder
10/27 Christa:  In Time
10/28 Christa:  Found
10/29 Christa:  Before The Storm
10/30 Christa:  Blood And Sand
10/31 Christa:  The Dam Breaks

BONUS!
11/2 Christa:  Epilogue

*Updated

Latest LIVE Listening Pleasure 21 - Garbage

Garbage had a homecoming of sorts at the Orpheum Theater here in downtown Madison on Sunday night and my wife and I were there to see it.

The band Garbage gets back to Madison every few years, last time was in 2012.  I did not see them then, the only other time I went to see them they played at the Memorial Coliseum here in Madison.  Thinking back, that must have been in the early 00's.  Of course, they recorded all their early stuff here in Madison at the now defunct Smart Studios (- think Nirvana's 1991 breakthrough album 'Nevermind' - it was recorded there with Butch Vig, Garbage's drummer and overseer, producing).

The band is celebrating the 20th anniversary of their debut album, Garbage.  It has been recently remastered and released along with many of the b-sides from that era.  I almost ordered it but there wasn't anything new on it, just remastered, and that wasn't enough for me.  I do like Garbage, especially because they are from Madison here, but I'm not fanatical about them and they are not what I normally listen to and these days I pick and choose who I spend my money on.  We paid for two tickets to the show, there's our support.

We arrived about a half hour before showtime to a mostly packed house.  We knew the show had sold out in advance, general admission mostly, and even a few more tickets were sold on the day of show.  Many of the only seats that were left available were behind the sound and light boards.  I figured that we would ride out the first band in the seats then move to the floor for Garbage.  (The first band was not worth remembering, at least for us.)  Well, by the time the first band was done the place had completely filled up so we decided to stay in our seats.  When standing, a camera only slightly obstructed our view.  If we were on the floor it would have been the backs of peoples heads obstructing our view, especially for my shorter wife.  On the plus side, my wife did sometimes watch the video that was being taken of the show on the little screen in front of us by the light board, see picture on the right.  Maybe it was being recorded for DVD release.  Now, that I would buy.

I experimented a little bit at this show.  First, I took more pictures and video at this show than I ever normally would.  I did not know how the video was going to turn out so I wanted at least a few good pictures.  Also, at prior shows that I have recorded songs I was much closer to the stage, within feet of the performance usually.  Up close works great for my little digital camera that I like to use for video, but it doesn't zoom in.  I did figure out that night - and for the first time ever even though I've had this camera for many years - that it will zoom for video but you must first zoom before recording and cannot change the zoom until it is in standby mode again.  Still, knowing that probably won't change my recording habits that much.  When I zoom in the quality and pixels goes down.  I also want to point out that this was probably the brightest show I've seen.  There seemed to be lots more lights on stage pointing out than the other way around.  At times I had to just look away and wait for it to dim.  Really.  Due to that, some scenes the camera just could not capture but for a glare of light.

This first video is for the song 'Kick My Ass.'


I also tried to take a video with my phone, first time trying to take a concert video on my phone and it turned out pretty good!  The zoom sharpness is surprisingly better than my old digital camera, more than I expected.  I still like the camera for when I can get closer, but I'm glad I gave the phone camera a try.  I did miss the end of the song, however.  I've had space issues on my phone lately so I simply ran out of space to record.

Here's the video taken with my phone, 'Only Happy When It Rains.'


It was a good night out and we had each taken Monday off after the show.  It is probably a good thing that we got the tickets months ago because otherwise it would have been tough to just get up off the couch and go.  This concert was only 10 minutes from home in downtown Madison.  In February we have tickets to a Nightwish concert in Milwaukee.  I hate to travel, and I wouldn't for just any band, but it may be my only chance to see this Finnish band live, so I must go.  I must also get a hotel yet!

*Reminder to my email readers, you must visit the site to view videos.  There is a link at the bottom of the email.

**One last update before I post this, apparently the video was broadcast out to Yahoo LiveNation.  You can watch the whole concert in professional multi camera video with quality sound at this link!

Previous LLP Posts...
LLP 1 - Pain
LLP 2 - Nightwish
LLP 3 - Die Antwoord
LLP 4 - Pain part 2
LLP 5 - Andrew Bird
LLP 6 - Nightwish part 2
LLP 7 - Paramore
LLP 8 - Newsted
LLP 9 - U.D.O.
LLP 10 - Nightwish Imaginaerum Movie
LLP 11 - Kiss
LLP 12 - Rick Springfield
LLP 13 - Hyrax
LLP 14 - In This Moment
LLP 15 - Faster Pussycat
LLP 16 - Sebastian Bach
LLP 17 - Cradle Of Thorns
LLP 18 - Amaranthe
LLP 19 - Lindemann
LLP 20 - Halestorm
LLP 21 - Garbage

New Fridge!

It's almost the middle of October and I haven't posted much of anything lately.  Well, I could do a This-And-Thats post but it would probably be rather short.  I could rant about the Wisconsin Badgers pathetic offense or rave about the undefeated Green Bay Packers, but I'm not a sports writer.  So about all that's left that has happened lately is getting a new refrigerator.  So be it!

We've had the fridge ordered for about a month now, waiting for it to be in stock and delivered.  The old fridge was, well, old and was starting to have some issues.  We could have called a repair man and possibly have gotten it fixed, but ultimately decided now was the time to upgrade.  We got exactly what my wife wanted; a black french door fridge with the freezer drawer on the bottom - and an ice maker for me!  We had the plumber out last week to install a water line for the ice maker since the old one didn't have that luxury.

We had delivery scheduled for Saturday and got the call on Friday evening that the refrigerator would be delivered between 4 and 6 pm.  The next day we were at the Harmony Bar and Grill for a late lunch and when we were finished, around 1:30 we got the call that they would be there in about 20 minutes.  I know they are always early, but they made some good time that day (and he told me later we were their last delivery).  We scurried home quickly and what happens first thing but the spring on the garage door breaks!  Spend some money and then have to spend more money, my luck!  Anyway, we got the fridge emptied into coolers before they arrived.  They had the old one out and the new one in and set up and were gone by the time the football game started at 2:30.  Perfect!

Cosmetically, the new LG fridge matches the Kenmore dishwasher very well, about exact.  But now, well, I saw my wife standing in the kitchen the other night and so I asked her casually if she was looking at the new refrigerator.  No, she said, she was looking at the old stove.  Gasp!  Not yet, not yet!  This fridge was not cheap, replacing the stove can wait for a while, quite a while, we have other big things like a new roof to think about next year.

And tomorrow the garage door guy will be out to fix the spring so I can use the big door again.  I do know it is something I could most likely do myself, but I never have and when you get that spring wound it's got lots of scary power.  Yeah, I'll just let the pro do it.

A side by side comparison of the old and new fridge is after the break, if you're interested.

Garden Blog Updates

I realized that I have not posted here in a bit, but things have been busy at work and nothing exceptional has happened otherwise.  I did post a pictorial tour of the plants in our yard over at the garden blog yesterday.  And my lovely wife posted over there today.

My wife has a different view than I and has been adding bits of what she has prepared with the small harvest we get from our garden.  You should head on over there and read her posts, leave her an encouraging comment, too!

Our garden blog is linked in the right column, or click here!

Craft Brew Dinner #5

It has been a busy week, but finally I can write about this past Monday night when we attended another Heritage Series Craft Brew Dinner at Dexter's Pub.  We have grown from just my wife and I, to us plus my friend Ted, to us and Ted plus his friend, to us and Ted and SteveBob and another couple, Josh and Casey.  We got our half a dozen seats about a month ago, maybe 2 days after seats became available, and from what I understand it sold out all 20 available seats just a day or so later - quicker than usual, word must be getting out.

I don't want to spend a whole lot of time on it, but it was not the best dinner in this series that we've attended.  The rep for Deschutes Brewery was a likable guy who had the knowledge of the brewery but had bad timing for his between course talks.  Normally the waitresses have a routine; serve the featured beer, serve the course, remove plates and glasses as finished, and repeat for all 5 or 6 courses.  The rep has everyone's attention when the featured beer is being served, not when everybody gets the paired course of food.  There was some good swag included - pint glass, can/bottle coolie, sticker and what is a wide rubber band with their name printed on it that I think they want to be a wristband - I didn't say it was all good swag.

Their beers were kind of a letdown for me, though.  They didn't suck, but nothing stood out.  Many ales, one bitter, at least none of my least favorite, the perfumey-tasting IPAs.

In keeping up with what I started doing at dinner #1, there is a staged photo of beer, dessert and menu here.  The menu was bigger this time so you can't read it all, but you get the gist.

To cut to the chase, the biggest disappointment of the night came when half of our party, my wife and I included, got the last three of the second course served from the kitchen.  It was a "Volcano" pork sandwich.  While all others got the heat, it was just a pork sandwich for us three.  They must have run out of the jalapeno jelly for the last three sandwiches.  We had absolutely no spice.  The pork tasted good but for us there was nothing "Volcano" about it.  Plus, one had no little crispy onions and there were complaints of fattiness in some sandwiches.  They sold only 20 seats yet seem to have run out of some things when serving.  Makes me wonder if that happened to others that happened to get the last dishes out of the kitchen for a course.

For now, the next scheduled dinner is with Rogue Brewing Company, and we have not heard good things about their beers from our friends that know more about that kind of thing.  And the menu is, well, meh.  We've attended four in a row and after this one I think we will be skipping the next but we will surely keep an eye on future dinners, still.  Thanks, Nick!

Firepit And Basement Stands

We had a firepit on Saturday night, our first one of the year.  We had planned a firepit party twice in the last couple of months but both times turned out to be among the hottest days of the year.  We still had the party but we never lit a fire,  we just stayed inside in the air conditioning.  Now that Fall is here - or will be in a day or two - we should have better weather for it.

With friends over I had the help I needed to get the washer and dryer into place on the new stand. The freezer is already on it's little stand, left.  If you take a look you can see how I also have the metal shelves up on wood and the bottom shelves painted with the same mold and mildew proof paint.  We've not had any water in the basement in quite some time now, and when we do it just trickles to the drain, but it has been damp enough down there for me to raise, replace and paint the bottom shelves after mold had grown on the bottom side a couple years ago.

The washer/dryer stand is pretty cool.  It's only 12 inches high but makes a world of difference getting laundry in and out - or will.  I've been busy (okay - lazy on Sunday, but that's what Sundays are for!) since then so I finally got them balanced and hooked up again tonight.  Essentially, the stand doubles the height of the opening from when they were on the floor.  And that means a lot when you have a back like mine, but I still keep an old office chair down there so I don't bend so much.

Last night we went to another Heritage Series Craft Brew Dinner at Dexter's Pub.  This time we had 6 in our group.  It was fun but I do have my complaints.  I'll write about it later, I've got stuff to do tonight other than more writing so that will probably be my next post.  See ya then!

Birthday This-And-Thats

Yes, today is my birthday.  I will forever get to hear 9/11 tributes and remembrances for the rest of my life on my birthday, Patriot Day.  This date has become defined by the events of 14 years ago.  It is one of those dates when you ask people where they were they can tell you exactly how that day was for them.  I may have told my story here, I'd have to check.  If not then I'll tell it on this day some year in the future, I'm sure.  I've been otherwise busy lately, so I probably have other stuff to say today.  Time to start typing and find out what it is!

• I've not heard anything back from the bank on my request for compensation for what we went through the other day.  I'm sure I won't.  I'm glad they are trying to look out for us, but why were we not notified immediately when they put a hold on our account?  That is the big question.  Turns out, essentially they are always suspicious about purchases from this large retail giant's website.  The bigger the money the bigger the flag.  No matter how much fraud happens on that retail outlet's web store, why were we not notified right away when they put a hold on our account?  My wife had to go without lunch that day and day one of my vacation was delayed by almost 3 frustrating hours because their system was down, lucky us.  What if I had already gone out to lunch and tried to run errands before my wife texted me that her card was denied?  It is always embarrassing if that happens - and rarely is it ever justified for anyone you see it happen to.  If you didn't have the money you'd know it, or most would, I would hope.
• The basement stands that I built earlier this week have been painted, two coats of mold and mildew proof paint, and are down in the basement.  The freezer stand was (relatively) easier for me to get in place under the freezer but the washer/dryer stand will have to wait for help.  I'll try to get a few friends over soon to help get the washer and dryer on top of the stand, then I will share pics.  It's gonna be pretty neat.
• I've also managed to get several more projects crossed off my list the past couple days.  Most notably, I got all the edging done along the front sidewalk, all that I will do this season - I don't want to put any more of that sod in the compost bin this year (I don't think the walks have been edged in 30 years!).  I've started cutting back, and in a few cases removing, some plants for fall.  I also built and installed a new gate for the garden out of leftover lumber to replace the old gate that was sticking and getting hard to open.  Check, check, and check.  And there's still plenty more on my to-do list for later.  There always is, right?
• I must admit that lately I have peeked at "Sammi's" farcebook page once or twice since I posted about her.  And I am feeling a lot better about the situation now.  She mostly re-posts the usual drivel that comes from there, but she has also made it a point to complain recently about having a toothache but no insurance and how she had to call the police on her roommate for stealing her laptop.  This woman is older than me yet she seems to have regressed since I have known her.  Not really the type of friend I want to have now, anyway.  Bullet dodged.  Now I worry because I gave her my phone number and this blog address.

Well, it has been a restful yet productive week off for me.  This weekend brings football with the Badgers at 11 on Saturday and the Packers at noon on Sunday.  Yes, that means Summer is almost over so we must enjoy what is left of it .  The rest of this weekend is mostly my own.  We do look forward to seeing some friends tomorrow night for an evening out, and I hope for something nice with my wife and I, but come Monday it is a new week with a new mindset for me.  Back to the grind, so they say...

Basement Stands and Poor Banking

I enjoy those days spent working on a project in the garage for hours at a time.  Playing music and making sawdust are always fun, but the accomplishment of creation is nice, too.  I had one of those days yesterday, creating a stand for the washer and dryer and also a small platform for the freezer.  We have not had water in the basement for quite some time, and when we have had water it just runs toward the drain so this may not be necessary for flooding, but why take a chance?  And the washer/dryer stand will also lessen the bending.

The washer/dryer stand assembled almost exactly as I had figured in my head and crude drawings.  Once I figure out the dimensions the length of the pieces falls right into place.  I started by cutting the 4x4 legs to an approximate length then pulled out the table saw to help get flat ends.  Well, I got the table saw out but the blade would not raise.  I tried taking it apart but could not find the problem to fix.  This is probably one of the cheapest table saws available, I got good use out of it over the past few years.  I saved the blade but the rest is now junk.  I made a quick dash to my favorite local DIY center but I did not want the same cheap one, the next step up only the floor model was to be had, then they just got pricier.  After considering how little I would need it for this project, I left without a purchase and made do with the circular saw and a steady hand - very well, too.  Still, with my wife's permission I just may get another table saw by the end of the week.

Next up is painting.  I had hoped to get started on it today, but two things are holding me back.  The terrible humidity and our bank.  We bought a refrigerator online a few days ago and our bank's security has flagged it and put a hold on our accounts.  My wife texted me from work today that her card was denied so I called.  They told me that the bank's security computers are down at the moment so they can't help me.  My wife can't get lunch at work and I can't go out for errands and lunch after fasting since last night so I could have blood tests today.  I am very hungry and quite annoyed right now.

Since writing the above it has now been resolved and I did go out and get a bite to eat.  I am still upset with our bank, however.  I am now off to start painting what you see in the pictures.

More pictures after the break!