Back Doubt

I've been struggling with doubt recently.  Doubt as to whether I deserve or require the upcoming shot in my back.  Over time the pain has gotten better since the last shot, and my pain varies throughout the day and depending on my activities.  One morning I can be hoping the date comes quickly, and that evening I can be filled with self doubt about even needing a shot.  This is different than in the past.  This is the least pain I've had before a shot, compared to the several other shots I've had, which has been different for me, and sometimes troubling in this way.  But I've also had the good pain pills all this time, as I have in the past, as well.

This weekend I've been doing a little experiment, I've done everything as I would have normally but without the pain medication.  Now, I've tried to not take them much anyway, but usually end up taking at least one and, more often than not, two a day.  An opioid called Percocet, Vicodin, or just Oxycodone.  It's been super hot lately, yesterday was over 90ºF but feeling like 100ºF with high humidity, but slightly better today so I was determined to walk to go out for lunch.  It's a little less than a mile to the Harmony Bar and Grill, one way.  A good walk, almost all bike path, and only takes about 15-18 minutes, depending, but the walk back was quite a bit more painful and slow than the walk there.

I mentioned in the comments for the last post how if you view it as 3 levels - surgery, shot, and live with it - that I would be toward the bottom of the shot level, and I still think that's true.  But my little experiment this weekend has given me the confidence that I am not doing this frivolously, it just happens to be the lowest level I've been at before undergoing this procedure.  For some reason I just feel a little guilty that I'm not in more pain, or as much as I have been in before.

This is good for me to realize and I'm glad I did this.  Now I'm going to take that damn pill.

Back Update, Second Shot Coming

 

I saw the neurosurgeon on Tuesday, and it was a rather short visit.  I told him my symptoms and we looked at the MRI.  The notes say it was slightly worse than my last MRI in 2018, but he said it looked much the same to him.  It clearly shows how the nerve is impeded when compared to the right side.  This is the area that I had surgery on in 2000, and most recently the shots in 2018.  We both agreed that a second shot was the way to go.  I won't have to undergo surgery and I won't have to live with it, now let's just hope the second shot works out well.

This time I received notification that my second shot had been preauthorized by the insurance the very next day.  I took today off so called this morning and have an appointment scheduled for about 3 weeks from now.  This has been a long process so far and I'm hoping this will be the end of it, for now at least.

Latest Listening Pleasure 38 - Wargasm UK

Shortly after finding and really liking their music I wrote an LLP Bonus post about them.  At the time, they only had 7 songs out and I felt they needed to do more to merit a full LLP post.  That was in February, and now, after several months of their music being at the top of my mental playlist, I just can't deny how much I've been enjoying their music ever since - and they have two new songs out since then, so they have been active.  Ladies and gentlemen, number 38, Wargasm UK!

Wargasm UK - Pyro Pyro

There's not a whole lot more I can say about them than what I did before.  But live shows have started up again, so they're getting their chops by playing out more, at least one festival from what I've seen with more dates scheduled soon.  And this make me happy because more live shows means more live concert videos to watch.  Always my preference.

Wargasm UK, Live at Download Festival Pilot 2021 - Backyard Bastards

Watching this live video reminds me how content I am these days to watch from afar, but they sure bring the energy and the crowd gives it right back.  I may be too old to be right down front anymore, but I still enjoy it lots.  Keep it coming, Sam and Milkie!

Previous LLP Posts:

LLP 1 - Pain
LLP 2 - Nightwish
LLP 3 - Die Antwoord
LLP 4 - Pain part 2
LLP 5 - Andrew Bird LIVE
LLP 6 - Nightwish part 2
LLP 7 - Paramore
LLP 8 - Newsted
LLP 9 - U.D.O. LIVE
LLP 10 - Nightwish Imaginaerum Movie
LLP 11 - Kiss
LLP 12 - Rick Springfield
LLP 13 - Hyrax
LLP 14 - In This Moment
LLP 15 - Faster Pussycat LIVE
LLP 16 - Sebastian Bach
LLP 17 - Cradle Of Thorns
LLP 18 - Amaranthe
LLP 19 - Lindemann
LLP 20 - Halestorm
LLP 21 - Garbage LIVE
LLP 22 - Arcade
LLP 23 - Nightwish LIVE
LLP 24 - Ace Frehley
LLP 25 - Darkc3ll
LLP 26 - Dementia
LLP 27 - Rammstein
LLP 28 - Marilyn Manson LIVE
LLP 29 - The Harp Twins LIVE
LLP 30 - Diamante
LLP 31 - Steel Panther LIVE
LLP 32 - Scum Of The Earth

LLP 33 - Marty Friedman LIVE
LLP 34 - Buckethead LIVE
LLP 35 - Alice Cooper LIVE
LLP 36 - Poppy

LLP 37 - Code Orange

LLP 38 - Wargasm UK

Updates For Dog Days

We seem to be entering the dog days of summer now, and if I'm not mistaken the constellations agree.  When I posted recently and said it seemed like peak summer perfection at that time, I was correct.  The signs of a waning summer are visible now, but it's way too early to dwell on them.  Lots of good outdoor time yet to be had, thankfully.

The last several weeks have been pretty mundane around here.  We had quite the hot spell so spent most of our time indoors for a while, but have had lots of open window time, too.  Otherwise, it's been pretty routine; work all day and house chores and relaxing at night, not much socializing at all.  Where we live in Dane County we're sitting pretty good compared to other places.  We have a very high vaccination rate and things have been pretty relaxed for awhile here, but with the new variant we've started wearing our masks everywhere again and purposely not going out when we don't need, just to be safe.  We'll get there eventually, it'll just take more time - and vaccinations.

I know I've not written a whole lot the last several weeks, and my last couple posts have been mostly pictures, which actually prompted me to write more about them.  This may be like that, too, so sorry if you weren't a fan!  I just thought maybe I'd do a few updates on some varied things.

To start off, back in January I was considering whether getting the local newspaper delivered was still worth it to me.  Well, I kept getting the paper for a few months after, but canceled it at the beginning of May and I haven't looked back since.  I still get most of my news online, as well as sports updates.  The biggest change, really, is I saved one more daily cartoon to read online.  Money well saved, I think.

Update number two: Squirrels are still bastards.  This little bastard was just so picturesque this morning as he worked his way into a black walnut on our back railing.  I ran him off right after as I don't want any of that black walnut litter staining the wood, if I can help it.

All these pictures are from today, but most have a connection to past happenings.  See the rest after the break!