Smoking Update

I've put this post off for a while now for two reasons, I think.  First off, it is a self-examination post which is always a bit harder to write, and also I wanted to wait until it was closer to my anniversary of quitting cigarettes, sometime late January two years ago.  I have been cheating, however, so I should actually say I have not been addicted to nicotine in the past two years after smoking cigarettes for 26 years before that.

First off, 2 years ago in early 2010, I told my doctor that I wanted to quit and what I've tried and failed in the past.  After discussion, he gave me a 3 month prescription for Chantex that finally got me to quit.  I know others who have tried that drug successfully, another that didn't stick with it (not ready to quit yet), and yet another that got the nasty side effect of depression and suicidal thoughts, so it may not be for everyone.  Then I had a bit of a rough time of it.  I broke my leg* at the end of August 2010, then had the usual holiday stress on top of that rehab.  I finally had neck fusion surgery in March 2011 that I had needed to deal with arm and nerve pain I had suffered from since about 2 months before I broke my leg.  And then, while only days after recovering from neck surgery, realized and soon had confirmed, that I needed another surgery on my lower back, which would happen in July, 2011.

It was in that period of time after my neck surgery, and realizing that I would have to have back surgery again soon, that I was at my wit's end with all the medical stuff I had already gone through and all the pain I had dealt with in that short period of time.  I had been sneaking some of my wife's cigarettes here and there, always a partial thanks to cigarette snuffers.  But I was weak willed enough to almost go back to smoking.  Then I did go back somewhat, but I did not want to ever get addicted to nicotine again so I sought out clove cigars (it's illegal to call them clove cigarettes anymore**).

That's what this post is about, really, I confess that I smoke clove cigars now.  A bit every day, but on a work day that is about 2 a day at home thanks to the snuffers (I don't smoke at work at all).  I can go out briefly up to 5 or 6 times on 1 clove cigar or I can linger, if engaged, and smoke more.  Mostly it is my old psychological habit coming back that makes me go out to smoke, even now that it is cold again.  I used to laugh at my wife a little bit last year when she would put herself through getting all bundled up to go out into the cold to smoke.  I used to do that, then didn't for a season, and now find myself doing it again when I know I actually don't need to.

The difference now is minimal.  I have been inhaling more than I should and have been getting that early morning smoker's phlegm again.  While that should be enough to make me stop, I have only been trying to cut down and consciously not inhale so much lately.  Now that winter has made it's late appearance that can only help keep me from stepping out to smoke.  Stressful situations, such as a high stakes playoff game, will keep me stepping out on commercial breaks, but maybe a second consecutive Super Bowl win by the Green Bay Packers would finally take the edge off...  I can only hope!    Go Pack Go!


*Saying simply that I broke my leg seems to diminish it.  I really effed it up!

**Same size and shape as a cigarette, it's just that a recent law says, essentially, that they have to be called cigars now, or cannot be called cigarettes.  Whatever.

Snow's-A-Here!

But as you can see, it's not a lot to write home about.  I took this pic looking over the back yard just a bit ago.  The roads were snow covered and slippery on the way home, my usual 15 minute commute was 25 minutes this afternoon.  Then I did some shovelling and eventually, after figuring out how to use it again, used the snow thrower to clear the walks and driveway.   Since the snow continues, I'll get up a bit earlier than I would need to tomorrow morning to do a bit more shovelling before I go to work.  The last two seasons I believe we got dumped on for our first significant snowfall, this is much easier to deal with.

Snow's-A-Coming!

As we approach the middle of January we still have only had a few small snow events, totalling about 4 inches.  Of course, it always melted almost immediately so we have had basically no snow cover at all yet.  That will all change soon, starting around midnight tonight it is supposed to snow all day tomorrow, Thursday, and into Friday morning with a total of up to 6 inches expected.  So much for a snowless winter!  Another bummer, my friend Jerome and I are supposed to go to a birthday party tomorrow evening, right in the middle of it.  It is my friend Keelan's mom's birthday.  I don't really know her but I do want to go to be there for my friends and because there are going to be a lot of people from the HR department at my work there and I'm actively looking for a new position in the company.  I've never had to 'network' for a job before, but I really want to move up out of the department I'm in now so I'm ready to schmooze it up!  The only thing is we have about 50 feet of driveway and 2 walks to do (I'll be helping out my neighbor Jane this year like neighbor Dave helped us out last year when I was broken).  The snow won't be finished by tomorrow evening, but it may be easier clear it before it gets to be too much then do it again after work on Friday.  I guess I'll just have to play it by ear and see what it looks like then.

And to think, the past few days have been in the 40s and 50s but tomorrow morning will be about 12F.  I already heard many people at work today talking about staying home tomorrow, so at least it should be a pretty quiet and relatively calm day.

For those everywhere but the states, here's a temperature converter.

More Plumbing Problems

It was not too long ago that we had to get a new toilet installed and now, of course right after the holidays, we need a new kitchen faucet.  The original plan was to eventually get a new faucet, install shutoff valves under the sink, put in an undersink water filter and buy and hook up a dishwasher.  Now that the faucet has gone, our plans have been rushed a bit.  We have a plumber here now installing the valves, dishwasher hookup and new faucet (and sprayer).  Saved for later are the water filter and, of course, the dishwasher, the two most expensive parts of this project.

I've always hated plumbing, but with the upgrades today we will be in better shape later to add the things we want.  I might even be able to handle the filter installation myself, but the dishwasher is a bigger project that I may need help with.  Both are projects for a later date.  We now have lots of things around this house we wish to upgrade or get.  *Sigh*, all in due time....

2012, The Morning After

Well, I've certainly felt worse than I do now.  We were up until around 3:30 a.m.  I just got up a bit ago craving liquids, Kate is still asleep.  The house needs to be put back together a bit after the party last night.  We did go out to the bar later last night, and there was karaoke but I said I wouldn't post it.  Certainly not me, mind you.  Well, I think I'll feel fine after a shower and some vitamin water.  I have to.  After all, the Packers play at noon.


What did you do?  How do you feel?

Happy 2012!

A bit early but we have a busy day ahead of us.  We are having a party here for our friends tonight and possibly later, weather and drunkenness permitting, moving it over to one of the local establishments to ring in the official New Year!  In the meantime there is food prep, shopping and cleaning for us to get done.  However you ring in the new year, be safe, happy and, well, Cheers!

Christmas Memories Thought Out Loud

My early Christmas memories seem, looking back, pretty wholesome and festive with family, family, family.  When I was young, oh, say single digits up to age 10, it was always a long drive and an overnight stay.  The drive was about 200 miles, filled with car games, fighting with my younger brother and carsickness from my dad's smoking.  (Ironically I would grow up to be quite proficient in the smoking arts.)  I have plenty of memories of having to listen to crappy music and my father's arm flailing wildly into the back seat while he swears and threatens to pull over while my mom wails and cries, trying to stop it all before we have an accident.  After I was 11 we had moved much closer to the relatives-ground-zero, within around 45 miles, so the car trips weren't so bad, relatively speaking.  By then there were 3 of us kids in the back seat, my little sister usually got the 'hump', the middle back seat separating me and my brother and besides, we had seniority for the windows!  I remember always picking the seat behind the driver - see the aforementioned arm flailing wildly, I was more out of reach.

There was always two stops, both my grandparent's houses.  Both lived in the same town, basically my parents' hometown, and near where most of both of the rather large extended families lived.  My mom's side was always a bit more religious.  A bit meaning borderline fanatical.  When we stayed there at times other than Christmas (unless we stayed late enough) we always had to recite the whole damn rosary after dinner.  I do have fond memories of - because we were made to kneel somewhere - kneeling on the staircase with my uncle Art, a young teenager at the time, our fronts out of view while we stealthily read Richie Rich comic books and tried to set speed records of saying a whole 'Hail Mary' ten times when it was our turn.  There was always a large turnout that packed that small house for the Christmas celebration, but it always seemed to run smooth.  Dinner, check, cleanup, check, presents, check, cleanup, check, football, check, and maybe some euchre and seeing who naps first, check and check.  On this side of the family I was the second oldest grandkid and my youngest aunt was less than a year older than I, so you can see the age range and catholic influence there.  Speaking of catholic influence, I do remember having to go to Christmas services and when we were there for overnights when I was younger I believe we went to their church, either on Christmas day or the night before.  When I was a bit older and it was a shorter drive we went to our own church before a day trip to the relatives' town for the holiday.

My other grandparents' house, my dad's side, was a bit smaller, well, if not smaller it seemed like a bigger house.  On this side I was the oldest grandkid.  I had two aunts who were teenagers and they had a pool table downstairs - guess where I liked to be!  Everything ran pretty much as it did at my other grandparents' house, like clockwork, year after year.  All the traditional roles were reinforced, women did the food and dishes and men drank beer, watched football, scratched and napped, year after year.   Looking back from then and up to now, I am glad I have those memories.  I know that I don't see many of my aunts or uncles at all anymore, but with the families I'm from I know I could get the benefit of the doubt from them if ever I needed it.  That's just from the way it was back then.  These days, although both my grandmothers are luckily still around, those big family gatherings have splintered into each family's own gathering with their own kids and grandkids.  And that is as it should be.

When I think back now as I write this, I remember mostly all the good.  All the presents I received, good and bad (read: toys or clothes), and I could start to tell who really gave a shit as I got a bit older.  But I can't ignore the bad memories, either.  The hell car rides, endless waiting, tired crankiness and the yelling and tension that always seemed to  accompany these things, usually on the ride to and from.  I'm not sure if any of this has anything to do with me being agnostic (practically full atheist now) or my disdain for religious, commercial holiday gatherings that seemed to start with my adulthood or not.  I do try to remember the good times more than the obvious bad stuff, but that is selective memory for me.  I'm not sure where I was going with this.  I was inspired into thought by a Diamond Geezer post and I just thought writing it out might help somehow.  Now it's time for bed.  I hope it's not a tough read, I'm not actually a real writer.  Happy Holidays, all.

Have A Holly Jolly One...

...if that's what you like.  I'm enjoying the days off.

Peanuts And A Rare Packer Loss

A couple weeks ago a good friend of mine, Jerome, came over to watch a football game on TV, and he came bearing gifts!  These 4 Peanuts characters played Christmas tunes together wirelessly, two songs each for a total of eight.  The wireless part has each of them joining in with the others' songs, like a little band.  We've had a lot of fun with these since then (Thank you, Jerome!), putting different ones in different rooms and randomly starting them several times a day.  I liked how my mom's husband Dan was as enamored with them as I yesterday during their visit, so after the game today (next paragraph) I looked to see if I could find them online as a last minute gift for them.  Well, they are still available.  But at about 30 bucks each or a set of the four for around a hundred dollars, well, maybe they'll be cheaper next year.   I hope Jerome got them at regular retail early in the season because 30 bucks a pop is outrageous.  Here's what I'm talking about:

(Oh, the Packer Gnome in the middle was also a present from Jerome while I was still laid up last year - he's very good with presents!)

And today the Green Bay Packers lost for the first time in their last 20 games to the Chiefs, 14-19, first loss since December 19, 2010. I'm actually not very upset about it, because at least it should get rid of the extra pressure of being undefeated and we should still get home field advantage for the playoffs handily. Being undefeated is not a goal, being the champion at the end is, and always will be, the goal. An undefeated year is, and should be, mostly a by-product of the original goal of all teams - winning the Superbowl. Hopefully they will learn from this game and start a 5 game winning streak next week, winning a second consecutive Superbowl in Indianapolis.

The First Snow Of The Season

...Arrived in the wee hours of the morning today, much to the dismay of all the weather forecasters in the area.  Just enough to coat everything in about an inch or more of the damn stuff.  I don't particularly enjoy snow.  I don't participate in many outdoor winter activities (if I can help it), I just have to move a lot of it around for the next several months - off the car, off the roof, off the steps and walks and off the driveway.  Grumble, grumble, grumble...

On a brighter note, my mom and her husband Dan came up for lunch today, bearing gifts and buying lunch.  I didn't put up much of a fight for the check making me think later how we expect our parents to take care of certain things from a young age until, well, forever, seemingly.  At least that's how it happened when I grew up.  Hell, they still have more money than me!  Anyway, it was a very nice lunch and visit today and I hope they had a good time as well.

Tomorrow the Packers travel to Kansas City to play the Chiefs.  If the Packers win they officially secure the top seed in the division and will play all their playoff games at home (last year all were on the road).  Go Pack Go!