Saturday, August 22, 2015

Friend Then, NOT Friend Now

So far this month my posts have been about looking back into the past, seeing old friends and the class reunion.  Turns out that I'm not done yet, I have one more tale to write of someone I used to know.  For the sake of this writing, her name is Sammi.

Sammi and I became friends around 1991 or 1992.  We had known each other a bit from mutual friends and from hanging out at the metal bar in town.  I had recently broken up with my girlfriend, a hairstylist, and needed someone to do my hair.  Sammi was a hairstylist.  I got an appointment and had my hair trimmed with her.  Turned out it was her last of the day so we wound up going to get food or a drink or something.  From then on we just became great friends, best friends.  We started doing everything together.  No hanky-panky at all, just friendship.  We each had short term partners come and go but we always remained friends.  We even had to start telling people we were brother and sister so they would get it - that nothing was going on between us.

bobbi blackedoutI can't recall the exact timeline of things back then, Sammi and I drank a lot.  But she wound up getting married around the same time I started dating my wife now.  My wife was my date for the wedding.  Around that time or shortly before is when we started being not so close as before.  And it was perfectly understandable.  We were both growing older and involved with other people.  We remained in touch, then she got a divorce after about a year or two.  We had been in touch less and less and then one day my number for her didn't work anymore.  Suddenly I had no way to reach my best friend of the early and mid nineties.  And it remained that way for somewhere around 16 or 18 years.  Until 3 weeks ago.

See, Sammi also attended my other friends' wedding that I referred to a couple posts ago as another friend's date.  When I was going through those pictures I was again reminded of her and mentioned her to my wife.  So my wife looked for her on farcebook - and found her!

I have looked for Sammi on and off over the years with no success, and now there she was on my wife's phone.  My wife sent her a message that day.  We waited a week with no response so I wrote up a short note with my contact information and had my wife paste it in a message to Sammi.  Again, we waited a week with no response.  So yesterday I again composed a short note, expressing my confusion and hurt but I would respect her wishes.  And again I had my wife send it to Sammi.  So that's where it stands.
BFB Capture
Or actually, that is where it stood.  I just took the liberty of glancing at farcebook under my wife's account on the off chance Sammi replied.  There was no reply so I glanced at Sammi's page and saw this, the screenshot on the right, posted a few hours after I had my wife send my last note.  Nice big 'YUP' right there.  I don't know why she feels that way.  I didn't think we were ever on bad terms.  I'm just, at a loss for words, so there will be no more words.  I hope we never meet face to face again, now.  Wouldn't that be awkward?

A long time ago I lost touch with a friend, but now I have truly lost that friend.


Mike Firesmith said...

That's odd that that you were friends with something that long and now they won't even so much as acknowledge that you exist. I'm not sure what's up with that but I think you are better off without her.

Scoakat said...

Hi Mike! I have no clue as to what she is thinking. Perhaps just too much time has passed. Could be any number of things going on. Not my problem nor will it ever be again.

Blue Witch said...

I'm so sorry to read this.

I have had several similar experiences. I'd like to be able to believe that 'it's their loss', but it hurts, particularly in cases when you've been close and shared lots over a long time.

Perhaps some people just don't value (or remember) things in the same way as we do?

Scoakat said...

Hi BW! Yes, it would feel better if I understood, but I won't dwell on it. I can't. I'm just sorry I spent that time looking for her if she didn't want to be found. Water under the bridge, now.